he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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