1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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