yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
