Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
