we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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