Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
