So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
