He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
