Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just had sex on a roof
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
