i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
