i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Watching her eat just hurts me
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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