we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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