girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
