Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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