Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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