I want to stick my p in your. b.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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