You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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