Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
