I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
