she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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