Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i used baking grease as lip gloss
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the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get me chipped asap
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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