I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
