Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
