My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
