Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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