I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
