Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just cut my nipple shaving
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
