Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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