I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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