I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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