We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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