I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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