Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
