im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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