U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
