you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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