I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
