So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
