I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
