Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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