I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
