i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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