There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
