She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
