Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
