Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm getting married
To pizza
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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