Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
