Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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