This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
