i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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