fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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