Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
