My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
