Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize