I wannas sexs uuuuu
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend