you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.