is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.