highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
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Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Pants are for mortals
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..