i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
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Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her