If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.