No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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