somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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