u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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