Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
