Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
