After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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