Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
